ENH: consistent exception messages for arithmetic

[jbrockmendel]

xref #62423, does not close.

This does not take a stand on whether to support list/tuple in the EA methods. An EA that currently supports it will continue to, likewise for arrays that don't support it.

Not taking that stand limits the amount of de-duplication/centralization we can do. Instead of all the exceptions being raised from unpack_zerodim_and_defer, helpers ops.get_op_exception_message and ops.get_shape_exception_message should at least help us get to consistent messages.

I did a pass to try to use these new helpers where relevant, but definitely didn't get them all. I also didn't implement _supports_(scalar|array)_op yet.

Before I go through the tests to update the exception messages, I'd like to get any bikeshedding out of the way about exactly what those messages should say.

[jbrockmendel]

Brainstorming potential improvements to the messages:

1. for reversed ops e.g __rsub__(x, y), we can make the message about sub(y, x) instead?
2. In some places we have "do x instead" in the exception message. We could let the pattern accomodate that by having _supports_foo_op return tuple[bool, str | None] with the latter being an optional bit to add to the standard exception message.