fix(node-experimental): Ensure we only create HTTP spans when outgoing

[mydea]

This is a fork of #8937, with only the "uncontroversial" stuff, mainly fixing that we only create HTTP breadcrumbs for outgoing requests.

In addition, this also migrates to using requestHook and responseHook instead of applyCustomAttributesOnSpan. We may have to revisit this later, but these hooks seem to have a better context awareness (=they are called in a more reasonable OTEL context, which gives the callbacks there better access to scope data etc). However that means we cannot (easily) pass both request and response as breadcrumb hints - not sure how important that is to us... For now I'd say that's OK.

Note that also requestHook is only called when the request finishes, so we already have all the response OTEL span attributes correctly set there.