diff --git a/news/12666.bugfix.rst b/news/12666.bugfix.rst
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..72a4a65155e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/news/12666.bugfix.rst
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+Fix intermittent "cannot locate t64.exe" errors when upgrading pip.
diff --git a/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py b/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
index cfa45d2af18..e16292b8330 100644
--- a/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
+++ b/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
@@ -49,6 +49,24 @@
     sys.exit(%(func)s())
 '''
 
+# Pre-fetch the contents of all executable wrapper stubs.
+# This is to address https://github.com/pypa/pip/issues/12666.
+# When updating pip, we rename the old pip in place before installing the
+# new version. If we try to fetch a wrapper *after* that rename, the finder
+# machinery will be confused as the package is no longer available at the
+# location where it was imported from. So we load everything into memory in
+# advance.
+
+# Issue 31: don't hardcode an absolute package name, but
+# determine it relative to the current package
+distlib_package = __name__.rsplit('.', 1)[0]
+
+WRAPPERS = {
+    r.name: r.bytes
+    for r in finder(distlib_package).iterator("")
+    if r.name.endswith(".exe")
+}
+
 
 def enquote_executable(executable):
     if ' ' in executable:
@@ -409,15 +427,11 @@ def _get_launcher(self, kind):
                 bits = '32'
             platform_suffix = '-arm' if get_platform() == 'win-arm64' else ''
             name = '%s%s%s.exe' % (kind, bits, platform_suffix)
-            # Issue 31: don't hardcode an absolute package name, but
-            # determine it relative to the current package
-            distlib_package = __name__.rsplit('.', 1)[0]
-            resource = finder(distlib_package).find(name)
-            if not resource:
+            if name not in WRAPPERS:
                 msg = ('Unable to find resource %s in package %s' %
                        (name, distlib_package))
                 raise ValueError(msg)
-            return resource.bytes
+            return WRAPPERS[name]
 
     # Public API follows
 
diff --git a/tests/functional/test_self_update.py b/tests/functional/test_self_update.py
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..c507552208a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/functional/test_self_update.py
@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+# Check that pip can update itself correctly
+
+from typing import Any
+
+
+def test_self_update_editable(script: Any, pip_src: Any) -> None:
+    # Test that if we have an environment with pip installed in non-editable
+    # mode, that pip can safely update itself to an editable install.
+    # See https://github.com/pypa/pip/issues/12666 for details.
+
+    # Step 1. Install pip as non-editable. This is expected to succeed as
+    # the existing pip in the environment is installed in editable mode, so
+    # it only places a .pth file in the environment.
+    proc = script.pip("install", pip_src)
+    assert proc.returncode == 0
+    # Step 2. Using the pip we just installed, install pip *again*, but
+    # in editable mode. This could fail, as we'll need to uninstall the running
+    # pip in order to install the new copy, and uninstalling pip while it's
+    # running could fail. This test is specifically to ensure that doesn't
+    # happen...
+    proc = script.pip("install", "-e", pip_src)
+    assert proc.returncode == 0
diff --git a/tools/vendoring/patches/distlib.patch b/tools/vendoring/patches/distlib.patch
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..de2834710a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tools/vendoring/patches/distlib.patch
@@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
+diff --git a/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py b/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
+index cfa45d2af..e16292b83 100644
+--- a/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
++++ b/src/pip/_vendor/distlib/scripts.py
+@@ -49,6 +49,24 @@ if __name__ == '__main__':
+     sys.exit(%(func)s())
+ '''
+ 
++# Pre-fetch the contents of all executable wrapper stubs.
++# This is to address https://github.com/pypa/pip/issues/12666.
++# When updating pip, we rename the old pip in place before installing the
++# new version. If we try to fetch a wrapper *after* that rename, the finder
++# machinery will be confused as the package is no longer available at the
++# location where it was imported from. So we load everything into memory in
++# advance.
++
++# Issue 31: don't hardcode an absolute package name, but
++# determine it relative to the current package
++distlib_package = __name__.rsplit('.', 1)[0]
++
++WRAPPERS = {
++    r.name: r.bytes
++    for r in finder(distlib_package).iterator("")
++    if r.name.endswith(".exe")
++}
++
+ 
+ def enquote_executable(executable):
+     if ' ' in executable:
+@@ -409,15 +427,11 @@ class ScriptMaker(object):
+                 bits = '32'
+             platform_suffix = '-arm' if get_platform() == 'win-arm64' else ''
+             name = '%s%s%s.exe' % (kind, bits, platform_suffix)
+-            # Issue 31: don't hardcode an absolute package name, but
+-            # determine it relative to the current package
+-            distlib_package = __name__.rsplit('.', 1)[0]
+-            resource = finder(distlib_package).find(name)
+-            if not resource:
++            if name not in WRAPPERS:
+                 msg = ('Unable to find resource %s in package %s' %
+                        (name, distlib_package))
+                 raise ValueError(msg)
+-            return resource.bytes
++            return WRAPPERS[name]
+ 
+     # Public API follows
+