Disable the Netty recycler

Netty plays a lot of games with recycling byte buffers in thread local
caches.

The recycler in particular appears to be fraught with peril. It appears
that there are circumstances where the recycler does not recycle quickly
enough and can exceed its capacity leading to heap exhaustion and out of
memory errors. If you spend a few minutes reading the history of the
recycler on the Netty GitHub issues, it appears it has been nothing but
a source of trouble, and the project itself has an open issue that
proposes disabling by default and possibly even removing the recycler.

We are seeing users struggle with issues in 5.x that I think are largely
driven by some of the problems here with Netty.

This change proposes to disable the recycler I think that disabling this
feature will return some of the stablity that these features appear to
be losing us.

Relates #22452

Author: jasontedor

distribution/src/main/resources/config/jvm.options

@@ -65,9 +65,10 @@
 # use old-style file permissions on JDK9
 -Djdk.io.permissionsUseCanonicalPath=true
 
-# flags to keep Netty from being unsafe
+# flags to configure Netty
 -Dio.netty.noUnsafe=true
 -Dio.netty.noKeySetOptimization=true
+-Dio.netty.recycler.maxCapacityPerThread=0
 
 # log4j 2
 -Dlog4j.shutdownHookEnabled=false